The Primer March ‘98 Volume 2.3 |
| Going MainstreamOver the past
two years, the EhBC group has experienced phenomenal growth. From half a dozen people
casually meeting for dinner, we've expanded into a community of over 100 people. This
amazing growth is partly a tribute to all our enthusiastic members, but it's also a
reflection of the increasing interest in BDSM among the general public. There are now
munches in London, fet nights in Hamilton and Barrie, and BDSM-related events almost every
week in Toronto. The world is slowly becoming more kink-friendly.
We're also seeing more frequent references to BDSM in mainstream media. Sitcoms, dramas and even television commercials are acknowledging that there are people out there who have a genuine interest in these activities. Not all the portrayals are as positive as we would like, but at least they make people aware that we exist. On a smaller scale, couples are beginning to open up and talk to each other about their dreams, their fantasies, and their hidden desires. That kind of open communication is made possible in part by the growing acceptance of these activities by mainstream society. And of course, there's the internet. Web pages, mailing lists, IRC channels and MUDs are making it possible for people to explore their interest in erotic domination and submission in a safe and supportive environment. Groups like EhBC are appearing that are intended to help those people make the scary transition from online to Real Life. It's an exciting time to be involved in the scene. We're not hiding in the shadows anymore -- we're more visible than ever, and we're finding increasing acceptance wherever we go. However, we still have to face the fact that many vanilla folks out there are convinced that we're all dark, troubled souls with bizarre and self-destructive fantasies. Fighting those myths, and showing the world the true face of BDSM, is something we should all strive for. Not everyone has the freedom to "come out" about their interests, but those of us who can should be willing to step forward and say "we're here, we've got gear -- get used to it!". - Bernie Roehl |
Ask Ilana Hi everyone, I am back again with another 'Ask Ilana' column. And while I would normally have a witty blurb to preface my question and answer bit, I just don't have one this month. My thoughts are occupied with plans for the play party *grin*. Q: I don't understand why no one wants to play with me. I see two people having fun, and when I get closer to watch, they get offended. I feel like nobody likes me. A: There are a few reasons this could happen. My first question to you is how well do you know these people? Have you just met, are you a casual acquaintance, or a long time friend? If you have just met, or you are a casual acquaintance, you may be invaded their personal space when you are approached. Many people, especially in intimate situations, have a large personal space, generally around four meters in diameter. My advice is to get to know the people involved. Take the time to talk to them and get to know them as people before you get to know them as play partners. If you are dealing with long time friends, then just ask them what is wrong. Communication is important. |
Hello All.
I looked forward to last Saturday's play party with great anticipation. I was NOT disappointed. The atmosphere was certainly warm and welcoming. The care and work that obviously went into setting up the "dungeon" was much appreciated.
Having only attended play parties in Dallas TX, I wasn't sure what to expect, and as I wandered from station to station I was impressed by the care and caution that each Dom/me appeared to be taking with their submissive. The sheer enjoyment and playfulness of one in particular had my attention for a long time. Ted, you are a wonder to behold! You and sachiko work so delightfully together.
I also had the pleasure of meeting Phillip (Sir Seville). It was such a joy to meet someone I had spoken to online for 15 months and never laid eyes on. There were so many there that I didn't even get a chance to speak to ... admittedly I was caught up in my own thoughts and didn't "do the room" as I might have.
The party was bittersweet for me. This play party was my first since coming out of a relationship turned sour, my memories ran rampant, and at times threatened to overtake me. Special hugs to Sir Stephen and Georgina for being there for me.
Well, enough of the personal stuff, <smiling> I just want to encourage anyone who has stayed away from play parties for whatever reason. Don't let intimidation keep you away from an EhBC play party. The folks are most kind and do their best to make a newcomer feel at home. My sincerest thanks to those of you who helped make my evening a pleasant one. From the setting up of the equipment to the great music .... everything clicked :)
sue <aka kesha>
by Bernie Roehl
Well, the third successful EhBC play party is behind us now. We had between 50 and 60 people in attendance, and by all reports everyone had a great time! There were lots of scenes going on, lots of activity, and a number of "firsts" that will be remembered for a long time. We had expanded the play space, in anticipation of the increased numbers, and there were times when most of the equipment was in use. The music was outstanding (thanks to a great DJ job by arnora!) and the lighting was excellent as always (thanks, Michael!). We also had a good crew of people helping with the set-up and take-down, and their efforts are much appreciated.
And a big "thank you" to everyone who brought their gear to the party -- the spanking benches, St Andrews crosses, chairs, spreader bars and stocks were all used at one time or another during the evening. It turns out that we had a number of people in attendance who had never been to an event like this before, and their looks of wide-eyed amazement were very entertaining for those of us who have been at it for a while. We hope that next time the newbies will be a little less shy, and will feel comfortable getting even more involved in the festivities! Plans are already underway for our next party, coming up in late May. We've decided to cap the guest list at 80, so be sure to keep in touch if you're interested in going.
See you then!
Madame X hosts a fetish night at Limelight, the nightclub, on the last Tuesday of every month. The Limelight is located at 250 Adelaide Street West, in Toronto. There is a strict fetish dress code enforced at the door. For more information, call 416-537-2896 or 416-340-0646.
He & She Clothing Gallery - Play clothes for Grown-Ups. 263-265 Queen Street East, Toronto. phone 416-594-0171. Hours: Mon.-Wed.10-7, Thurs & Fri.10-9, Sat.10-6, Sun.12-6
Doc's Leathers and Dungeon Gear - new and old, bought and sold, chaps, bondage and discipline gear, pants, jock straps, jackets, vests. 726 Queen Street West, Toronto. 416-504-8888.
Aslan Leather - Leather and vinyl dildo harnesses, leather dildos, whips, chest and body harnesses, and other fun toys. By Carrie. For catalogue info, please write: 363 Sourauren Avenue, Box 58 Toronto, ON M6R 2G5 or phone: 416-538-9759.
Boudoir Noir, Canada's best known Leather - Fetish - Consensual SM Magazine, is published four times a year by Boudoir Noir Publications Inc., Box 5, Stn.F, Toronto, ON M4Y 2L4. Phone 1-800-498-8750. Six issue subscription price is $24, but please note that price is going up to $36 effective 1998. Boudoir Noir also hosts a Fetish Night, at the Catacombs (below the Sanctuary), every second and fourth Thursday of the month. 732 Queen Street West, Toronto. 10:30pm-1:30am. Dancing, videos, door prizes, coat check, changing room. Leather, fetish-SM dress code is requested but not mandatory. Cover $5.
Bear Buddies Toronto is a social group for gay and bisexual "bearish" men and their male admirers. We welcome members and guests of all ages, races and body types. Our goal is to recognize and socialize with like-minded men, both at home and when we travel. Bear Buddies Toronto is not primarily a community fundraising organization. BEAR MEAT, our informal get-together, happens every 3rd Friday of the month at the Toolbox (508 Eastern Avenue, Toronto. 416-466-8616.)
EhBC Munches: First Wednesday of every month, in the Board Room, at the Barley Works, in the Huether Hotel, Uptown Waterloo (corner King and Princess Streets). Dress code is casual, all are welcome for dinner, drinks, conversation and socializing. 7-10pm +.
Find us online at: ehbc@golden.net (email) or at our web site: http://www.golden.net/~ehbc
If you have email, you can request information on the EhBC Mailing List from ehbc@golden.net. If you require a low-traffic email listing of upcoming events for the EhBC Group, you can request information about the EhBC Announcements Mailing List from the same addresses above. If you enjoy administrivia and wish to get involved in organizing events for the group, we’ll pity you, but you can contact Bernie or arnora at the addresses above and ask about the Admin-Only mailing list.