As the pandemic continues, a lot of people are wondering how we can safely return to having some kind of in-person kinky community events. It’s a difficult question to answer, but we’re going to try.
People have a need to connect. That’s why we have munches — we all want to feel like we’re part of a larger community. Technology can help (a lot!), and it’s getting better all the time, but it’s still not a perfect substitute for sharing the company of others. Clearly holding events indoors is very high risk, even after restaurants open their doors again. Therefore we’re turning to the great outdoors. Our motto is “Social connection, while Physical Distancing.”
On this page, we’re going to try to identify some “best practices” for kink events in the age of the pandemic. As kinky folk, we’re familiar with the idea of managing risk and making responsible decisions for the safety of ourselves and others. We are well equipped to apply those same skills to our current situation. Some of you may be familiar with RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink). Let’s call this RAKE — Risk-Aware Kinky Events.
“Risk-Aware” is an important concept. It acknowledges that no matter what we do, there will always be some amount of risk (even if it’s small). We do everything we can to mitigate that risk, but we live in an imperfect world that is changing rapidly as new information appears.
There are lots of different kinds of events, and over time we hope to expand this page to address as many of them as possible. For now, the only one we’ll be discussing is an Outdoor Munch.
The guiding principle in everything that follows is safety first. No kink activity is worth endangering your life, or the lives of others. With that in mind, let’s look at some basic guidelines.
Responsibility to yourself and people in your “bubble”
If you have pre-existing health conditions, or are immuno-compromised, or are living with people who are vulnerable, stay home.
Responsibility to the Kinky Community
If you’re sick, stay home. If you’ve been exposed to someone who’s sick, stay home. If you’ve been traveling to areas that are high-risk, stay home. If you have any reason at all to believe that you might be a carrier (even if asymptomatic), do the responsible thing and don’t put other people at risk.
Recommended Guidelines for Outdoor Munches
Here are some proposed guidelines for making outdoor munches as safe as possible…
- Maintain physical distance. We recommend 3 meters (ten feet). Six feet isn’t enough, because for some people six feet ends up being four feet. You want a buffer, to provide a margin for error. Keep in mind that if there’s a strong breeze, people downwind are at greater risk. 3 meters is close enough for people to hear each other without raising their voices, but far enough apart to offer some protection. (see this video for some more background)
- You’re welcome to cluster together with people who are already in your bubble, but respect the limits on social gatherings. In Ontario as of July 2020, that means your cluster cannot be more than ten people.
- You’re free to wander away from your cluster as an individual or a group of two, but remember to respect the 3-meter rule. If you have trouble visualizing 3 meters, think of two naked people arranged head-to-toe on the ground between you and anyone else. (they don’t have to be naked, but it makes it more fun to visualize!)
- If you approach someone and they back away, stop! And if someone holds up their hand in between you, stop approaching and back up a couple of steps. You don’t know their situation — they may be vulnerable, or they may be living with elderly family members, or they may just be more cautious than you are. Doesn’t matter why — respect their distance limits.
- Mask-wearing is encouraged. Wearing a mask doesn’t protect you all that much, but it protects the people around you.
Also be aware that anyplace we’re likely to meet outdoors will be public space. That means there may be vanilla people around, so you need to respect them as well. That doesn’t just mean masks and distancing, it also means (as always!) not forcing them to hear things they don’t want to hear. Use your best judgement. When talking to other kinky people within earshot of vanillas, saying “you look sexy in that mask” is fine. Saying “so, have you gotten used to the new butt plug yet?” isn’t.
Final Thoughts
This is a difficult time for everyone. But with a bit of cooperation, mutual respect and an abundance of caution, we can work together to maintain some kind of kinky community that will endure until it’s safe for us to hug and play and do whatever else we want to with (and to!) each other.